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Ish·va·ra Pran·idh·an·a | (verb) : surrender

Updated: Apr 23, 2020


Oh, sweet surrender - If you have been following my blog, you may have read my previous post titled “Surrender” which was published back in August 2018 - before I began my 200hr Yoga Teacher Training. Within my previous post on surrender, I had shared the progress of surrendering a career that I had worked so hard to attain and the difference one month had made within my overall sense of stability. I was evolving out of what was then, a low sense of self-confidence and the need for validation.


What I didn’t share was how I lost confidence within myself in the first place. Within a year of post-corporate self-healing and inner work, my greatest challenge was figuring that part out. Despite all things that I have been through in life, one thing has been constant – I arise to the occasion whenever I needed to fight my way through any challenge. I was accustomed to being an unstoppable force that was difficult to silence and yet somehow, I had become minimized to obscurity within the present-day gender inequality of the corporate world.


I felt devalued and, more often than less, I worked three times as hard to prove my worth within an environment that generally treated women as though they were only there to smile and look pretty. Looking back, any woman who had done anything but “stay in her place” did not get very far. I realized this the moment my former team lead, a highly qualified and experienced woman, was overlooked as a candidate for a management position which was given to a man who had not even known the first thing about being a Community Health Outreach Worker. To add insult to injury, the woman that was overlooked was assigned to train the unqualified male candidate who had been given the position instead of her.


I, too, had applied for a promotion and was overlooked by a less qualified male counterpart. I can confidently say that I was one of the best within my department. I was passionately committed to serving my community. I was recognized on several occasions as one of the very few employees to go above and beyond to fulfill their job